Heart Desire Freedom
Coming from an abusive family,life’s not always easy,but somehow I keep a smile on my face and laugh for all it’s worth. I try to turn to pen and paper. Sometimes that wasn’t enough, and I’ve turned to a blade instead. People judge you for that, and they tend to not look past scars.
Just because I have a smile on my face,
It doesn’t mean that I don’t cry when I’m alone.
Doesn’t mean I don’t have problems,
Doesn’t mean I’m not dying inside.
All it means is that I can look past the negative in my life.
Just because I laugh a lot,
It doesn’t mean I’m happy,
Doesn’t mean my life is perfect.
You don’t know me, you don’t know my story,
You don’t know what I’ve been through.
Just because I self-harm,
It doesn’t mean I’m suicidal,
Doesn’t mean I’m going to hack at my arm in the middle of class
Or attack you with a scalpel.
All it means is that the pain is getting too great.
Just because I have scars,
It doesn’t give you the right to judge me,
Ostracize me like some sort of alien,
When instead you should be my friend.
Those scars mean that I’m real.
Look past them and see the real me.
Each day a brand new struggle:
No food to eat, too stressed to sleep, trouble on my mind,
Tired of life, tired of pain, too tired to even try.
I can’t decide if I am happy or if I’m torn inside.
There’s a smile upon my face,
but tears stream from my eyes.
I’m searching for some answers,
Looking far and wide.
Still there is no clue I find to help erase these dark grey skies.
Red eyes and burning cheeks,
I feel as if I’m on fire,Desperate and empty.
What’s your Why?