I’M NOT FINE…

The sky looks bright and so is my smile

The air bears the scent of blossomed flowers..and I breath in deeply not wanting to let it out

We saw each other last night…laughed out lungs out

We talked till late…and let the night’s beauty overwhelm us

We were happy…last night

BUT WHY…

Does my heart feel heavy,and my eyes resist to see the beauty outside

Does my soul seem chained to my past that I wish to forget, a past that bears all that I know if anyone but me knew I’d be alone and forced to start a new,a past that is filled with regret and guilt of not living life but watching as people lived theirs

BUT WHY…

Do I feel like a failure when I have a big car and paper that ascertain my genius

Do I think I’m not good enough when others yearn to be me

Do I feel desperate to sink into an abyss of nothingness…and float in the clouds

Do I feel like my presence is irrelevant when all the time I’m in a crowd of people that claim to love me

Do I feel like I need someone to see beyond my laughter…to reach the depths of my being and see

That I’m crumbling

That I’m falling apart

That I’m crying

That I’m alone

That I need someone

That I’m not fine…..

I thought that saying it made me weak…but it takes strength to say it

I thought that you’d judge me…but I now know I judged myself

So I’m not afraid to say it…I’m not fine

Are you????!!

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