IT IS SIMPLE GOOD MANNERS TO
VISITING a friend, relative, colleague, loved ones is a WISE THING. It REKINDLES SWEET PAST MEMORIES. You catch up on past MEMORABLE EVENTS. When a long lost AUNT JOINS the fray, the uncle who MOVED OVERSEAS eventually comes back, the sister who was married years back and HASN’T SHOWN UP FINALLY COMES and so forth. ON THE SAME VEIN, it’s actually RELIEVING AND REJUVENATING to see a former HIGH SCHOOL BUDDY show up after years on end.
A UNIVERSITY COMRADE may equally GET WIND OF YOU and come to see you WHETHER SICK OR HEALTHY. You may equally decide to pay a visit to your FORMER RELIGIOUS TEACHER OR LECTURER. The one WHO MADE YOU WHAT YOU ARE.
It’s always good to visit someone at HOME, HOSPITAL, IN TOWN or anywhere else. But here THE ISSUE ISN’T VISITING; the issue is FOR HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO VISIT??? Don’t OVERSTAY your GUEST-HOOD. Don’t live to be a BOTHER AND A NUISANCE to your host.
They OVERSTRETCH to keep you comfortable. THEY GET THEMSELVES INTO DEBTS to keep you HAPPY and COZY. They love to see you happy while IN THEIR CUSTODY. But someone in as much as he can STRETCH TO ENTERTAIN YOU as his guest, he may just CONCEAL too much.
ETHICS not only REQUIRE but DEMAND that if you are to visit people, try and BE COURTEOUS and stay THE SHORTEST and forward something for THE COST OF YOUR UPKEEP if at all, your hosts AREN’T WELL OFF. Let the children of THE HOST feel the GOODNESS OF BEING VISITED.
Let them EAT WELL as well as FEEL GOOD of the provisions their parents USE ON YOU. Get them SOME PRESENTS AND GIFTS as you go to visit them. Let your visit BRING JOY AND ENTHUSIASM and not SORROW AND CONSTIPATION to them. Be gentle enough and LEAVE MORE THAN was used on you. THAT IS GOOD MANNERS.
وعن أبي شريح خويلد بن عمرو الخزاعي رضي الله عنه قال: سمعت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول: ”من كان يؤمن بالله واليوم الآخر فليكرم ضيفه جائزته” قالوا: وما جائزته يا رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: ”يومه وليلته. والضيافة ثلاثة أيام، فما كان وراء ذلك فهو صدقة عليه” ((متفق عليه)) .
وفي ((رواية لمسلم)): ”لا يحل لمسلم أن يقيم عند أخيه حتى يؤثمة” قالوا: يا رسول الله ، وكيف يؤثمه؟ قال: ”يقيم عنده ولا شيء له يقريه به”.
Abu Shuraih Khuwailid bin ‘Amr Al-Khuza’i (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I heard Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) saying, “He who believes in Allah and the Last Day, should accommodate his guest according to his right.” He was asked: “What is his right, O Messenger of Allah?” He (ﷺ) replied: “It is (to accommodate him) for a day and a night, and hospitality extends for three days, and what is beyond that is charity.”
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
In Muslim it is added: Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “It is not permissible for a Muslim to stay so long with his brother till he makes him sinful.” He was asked: “O Messenger of Allah, how can he make him sinful?” He replied, “He prolongs his stay with him till nothing is left with the host to entertain him (guest). They will overstretch to accommodate you and to make you comfortable. That’s your right of course. They will try and get you the best of good just to make you happy and comfortable. They will get into debts to do that but we can only do this for not more than three days.
(The Book of Good Manners)
ference : Book 2, Hadith 27
Arabic/English book reference : Book 2, Hadith 707