Protective Jealousy

Some time later,once the masjid was filled,the speakers around the masjid turned on and my heart raced.I knew what was coming.I hadn’t heard the call to prayer in so long.

I had listened to it a couple of times from YouTube,but no doubt the echo of the sound inside the masjid was a whole new feeling.
I listened intently, my palms sweating as the beautiful call surrounded me, sending ease to spread throughout my body.I was upset when it finished so soon.

I started – Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh {may the peace and the mercy and the blessings of Allah be upon you all}.

Alhamdulillahi-Rabbil-Alameen[All praise and thanks are to Allah, the Lord of the worlds].
We start with our main focus of religion— Tawheed.

Ash-hadu ala ilaha illallah [We bear witness, that there is none worthy of worship besides Allah];Wa ash hadu anna Muhammadan abduhu wa rasulu. [And we bear witness that Muhammad, sallalahi alayhi wa sallam, is the slave and messenger of Allah].

Today’s topic is ghiirah,Jealousy—Protective jealousy over our women.Not only our wives,but our mothers, daughters, sisters and every woman in our family whom Allah has made us responsible of protecting.

We live in a society today in which most men and women have lost their sense of modesty, women are obsessed with their appearances and wear clothes to be seen by others and to attract the attention of other men even if they are married!

They have lost their sense of shame.Men no longer feel the need to lower their gaze and shamelessly stare at women with or without their permission.

Marriage is often looked upon as old-fashioned and short term affairs and frivolous relationships are the norm.Everyone is waiting to attract a better partner and people feel like it is totally justifiable to dump one partner for another, not caring about how it may hurt the other person.

Women no longer care when their men hug or speak to other women. Men are not even embarrassed anymore or affected when their wives are dressed up and attract the attention of other men.
They don’t mind if another man sees,chats,laughs and even dances with their womenfolk and if they do mind,they are told not to be so possessive.
Astaghfirullah – We seek refuge in Allah from such evils. May Allah protect us. Amin.

Alhamdulillah in Islam we have a concept of Ghirrah — is an Arabic word which means protectiveness or jealousy.
It is a good type of jealousy,alhamdulillah, like when a man feels jealous or protective over his wife or sisters and other-womenfolk and doesn’t like other men to look at them, doesn’t want other men to chat to them or to have a laugh.

It is a natural inbuilt feeling Allah has given men and even women too. The Prophet ﷺ had the most Ghirrah for his wives and all of the righteous companions, may Allah be pleased with them all, were known for their Ghirrah.

The Muslim woman is a gem. Her value in Islam is at such a high level and we, as men, should live up to that responsibility to protect them. We, as Muslim men should have a collective sense of protectiveness for all Muslim women in general as Allah says in the Qur’an:

“The Men are the protectors and maintainers of women…”

الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنْفَقُوا مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ ۚ فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ ۚ وَاللَّاتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ ۖ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًا

Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance – [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.

-Sura An-Nisa’, Ayah 34

Men who do not care about how their women behave and appear in front of other men and don’t enforce hijaab upon their wives or women-folk are called Dayyooth, and the prophet, peace and blessing of Allah be upon him, has told us about these men. Being a Dayyooth is a major sin as the Prophet of Allah ﷺ has said in authentic narrations;
One who lacks ghirrah; one who does not care if (non mahram) men approach his wife, mother, sister or daughter…A dayyooth is prohibited from entering Paradise–

Three people will not enter paradise, and Allaah will not look to them on the Day of Judgement: the one who is disobedient to his parents, the woman who imitates men and the ad-Dayooth.

Such was the mutual respect between spouses in Islam, and such was the importance of ghirrah.

Dear brothers in Islam, we should always protect our women from the eyes of other men. As men, we ourselves know the evil thoughts that can go through other men’s minds when they look at women so it is our duty and responsibility to make sure our women are safe from the lustful glances and the disgusting thoughts of other men.

Some men in this century deliberately allow and even encourage their wives to dress up knowing full well other men will look at her and think about her. Perhaps this is because they’re proud of their wife’s beauty which in itself isn’t a bad thing because it shows he’s pleased with her because she’s beautiful but that doesnt mean to say he should show her off because that is prohibited in Islam.

A woman’s beauty in Islam is for her husband. Just like a man is not allowed to look at other women as his gaze should only be reserved for his wife and his wife alone, her beauty should also be reserved to her husband and her husband alone.

Rather than encouraging her to flaunt the beauty Allah has bestowed upon her, he should encourage her and also his female relatives such as his mum, sister, daughter, niece to cover up and dress in a way that is pleasing to Allah and not for the rest of society.

Finally,how do we ensure that we have this sense of ghirrah over our womenfolk?
For starters, you should always protect your wife when people around you may speak ill of her.
Never allow anyone to play with her honor.Same with your sisters and mothers.

In the house, when the doorbell rings, you get up and answer it and do not burden your wife by making her rush to find hijab or niqab to answer.

Remember the Prophet of Allah ﷺ said in Bukhaari and Muslim narrated from Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas;

“You will never spend anything seeking thereby the Countenance of Allaah, but you will be rewarded for it, even (the morsel) that you put in your wife’s mouth.
You need to do grocery shopping? Go with her. Don’t let them go alone and risk them being looked at or in this day and age, attacked by other men.”

If there are any errands she has to run, go with her. Drive her to places and pick her up if she can not drive. Don’t let her walk the streets alone. If you are walking together, then it is Sunnah (teaching/action of the Prophet) for the women to walk on the inside of the path and the men to walk on the outside so no man can touch her. We hear too many times on the news of men forcefully touching women on the street even in the broad hours of daylight.

True. I had been kicked where the sun don’t shine one too many times because I had tried to slap the behind of girls. I mean, I was dared to do it by the boys so…not that that made it any better, I guess.
And lastly, care for your women folk.

Tell them they’re beautiful and that you appreciate them and enjoy their company and love them. The Prophet of Allah, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him has said;
The best of you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best of you to my family.

So treat your mothers, sisters, wives, aunts, nieces, daughters with the respect and love they deserve and have a right to receiving islamically. If you don’t tell your wife she is beautiful and tell her how much you appreciate her,then Audhubillah,shaytaan will play with her mind and she will feel the need to seek approval from others and most of our women, alhamdulillah, will never give in to such desires and so this will make them depressed, in which case, you have failed as a husband, brother, son or father.

So long as we have a sense of ghirrah as we should, in sha Allah our families will be happy and our homes will be blessed with tranquility. A Falling Blossoming Rose

Hassan Aboud

A nurse practitioner who has dedicated his life to serving humanity. He is afriend, humanitarian, mentor and a listener struggling to make his mind and heart work together to make the best Impact in society. Aboud is widely recognized for his selflessness,straight forward speaking-style and love. He loves to write and inspire people.He has Always seen a better world for mankind.

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