On My Deathbed
I am journeying from this world and departing from my brothers and family. seeping from the cup of death and upon Allah the Exalted is His remembrance arriving.I do not know if my soul is travelling towards Paradise or the Fire!
Ya Rabb,Our Creator,I raise my longings and even if I am a non- possesor of kindness and generosity,an evildoer and a criminal.
When my heart became constricted and my paths became narrow,I took my hope in Your pardon and forgiveness as an opening and an escape.
My sins seemed very great to me but when I compared them to Your forgiveness,I found Your forgiveness to be much greater.
You are and will always remain the only One who can forgive sins,You grant and forgive out of Your benevolence and generosity.
Were it not for You, then a servant could never defy Iblis and how can that be when he mislead Adam(a.s).
If only I knew!Will I arrive at Paradise that I may take delight or at Hellfire,that I may regret?
How capable is Allah!For the one acquainted with lament,blood almost flows from his eyelids due to the excess of his emotions (lament).
He stands when the night extends out its darkness,Stands against himself out of extreme fear.
Eloquent when he makes mention of his Lord and in the mention of others than Him,he is speechless.
He remembers days gone by of his youth
and what was in it of ignorance,he was a criminal and so for the whole of his day, the companion of grief has become
the brother of sleeplessness and secret conversation when the night darkens.
He says, ‘My beloved, You are what I request and desire,you are enough of a longing and benefit for those who have hope are You not the One who has provided for me and guided me and You have not ceased being gracious to me and full of favours?
Perhaps the Beneficent One will forgive my mistakes and cover up my crime and what has gone forth.
My sins seemed very great to me,so I turned (to You) in humility,Were it not for my contentment in you,I wouldn’t,O my Lord,have seen any comfort at all.
So if You forgive me, You would have forgiven a sinner,A rebellious,oppressive tyrant still sinning.
So if You were to seek revenge from me,I would not despair,Even if they entered my soul into Jahannum, due to the sins
For my crimes are great both past and present But Your forgiveness comes to the servant,more exalted and more great.
The bounty of Allah surrounds me from all sides and Light from the Most Merciful has spread in the sky and in the heart is the radiance of the beloved when he is reunited and when glad tidings draw close,it becomes feverish.
Exhilaration surrounds me,only for Allah
It overlooks me in the darkness of the grave,apparent and clear.
I protect my love,lest my desires should pollute it and I preserve the contract of love,lest it be defiled.
In my wakefulness is yearning and in my slumber is destiny That is pursuing my footsteps in ecstasy.
Whoever holds first to Allah,he is protected from men and whoever hopes for Him,then never will he regret.